


i'll tell you a secret

by timelessidyll



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Minor Angst, and seungmin kinda doesn't feel like enough, because hyunjin feels like shit, but then it gets some, just the beginning of their friendship, ok listen this is not shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 13:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14309481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelessidyll/pseuds/timelessidyll
Summary: Hyunjin doesn't really fit with the others. Maybe he wants to change that.





	i'll tell you a secret

**Author's Note:**

> this was created for elena because she felt like shit today, and it's late because i started watching jae's vlogs so! sorry elena, but i hope you enjoy!

It was a struggle for Hyunjin to get out of bed every day. His eyelids weighed down, his head was full of bricks, and his muscles ached from his relentless practicing. All he wanted was for sleep to steal him away, fitful as it was every night. His throat felt clogged, thick with words he’s always on the verge of saying but that end up never coming out. It was difficult for him to feel comfortable in this new environment with new people with a new status and expectations that felt too far above him to reach. The only thing that helped him forget about every weight on his shoulders was dancing, and even that was becoming painful to do.

What was he doing, he wondered as he got dressed, trying not to disturb Jeongin because it was an ungodly 2 in the morning and he couldn’t lay down long enough without feeling choked up by the stillness. He hated the quiet because it pressed around him, hated the noise because he felt useless in his own silence, hated how he couldn’t feel comfortable in his own skin. He wished Kami was here, wished he could bring her with him because the only other thing that calmed him down was being able to pet her. As it was, he had to resort to practicing again.

He hadn’t expected to see the light coming out of the studio, certainly not at this hour, and had expected even less to see Seungmin inside, reading and rereading lyrics. For what, he wasn’t entirely sure, and he debated whether or not to check on him when Seungmin slumped and hit his head on the desk. The impact was loud enough that Hyunjin heard a dulled echo of it through the door, making him wince and hurry inside to see if Seungmin was alright before he could second-guess himself.

“Seungmin-ah?” He asked carefully as Seungmin rubbed the sore spot on his head, startling when Seungmin’s head shot up at the sound of his voice.

He blinked a few times, trying to decide if he was hallucinating or not, before asking shakily, “Hyunjin-hyung? What are you doing this late?” Hyunjin frowned at the usage of the word ‘late.’

“You’ve been here all night, Seungmin-ah?” he asked incredulously. “Why didn’t you go to sleep?” Seungmin winced at being called out with is own slip-up and tried to come up with an explanation that didn’t sound completely stupid.

“I wanted to run through my lines again,” he admitted sheepishly, “and I wanted to see if there was something I could do to contribute to future albums.” He glanced down at the papers on the table, rubbed the back of his neck out of self-consciousness, and Hyunjin was hit by the fact, again, that they were all teenagers. They were thrust out of their childhood together, molded to become idols at a young age, and he understood, suddenly, what it was that brought them together.

“Hyung, you didn’t say why you were here.” He was pulled out of his thoughts when Seungmin spoke again, and he internally scolded himself for letting that happen.

“I couldn’t sleep,” which was the understatement of the century, because Hyunjin couldn’t stop hearing the beat of their songs and the relentless whine of the silence when he was the only one left awake. Seungmin doesn’t question this – he never was one to pry, that was Minho and Chan’s job, being two of the oldest – but he still looks at Hyunjin like he knows there’s more to it. Hyunjin doesn’t elaborate, Seungmin doesn’t ask, and it feels so much like every other interaction Hyunjin has ever had with him that he feels like throwing up. This moment feels special, and if he lets this slip through his hands, Hyunjin knows he’ll regret not getting closer to his members. He takes his first step.

“Actually, I didn’t fall asleep in the first place,” he says with averted eyes, avoiding looking at Seungmin. If he did that, he might lose all the courage he’d suddenly gained. “I wanted to come dance and see if I could tire myself out a little, and then I saw the studio was open. If you’ve been here all night, you should go sleep, Seungmin-ah.”

“I’ll come with you to the practice room, hyung,” Seungmin says instead, completely disregarding Hyunjin’s advice and gathering the paper with the lyrics on them. Hyunjin doesn’t have the heart to disagree with him.

Hyunjin wants to say that he found the stretching silence between them annoying, restricting, all around unpleasant, but the fact of the matter was that Seungmin was good company. He read the mood well, and although he was generally happy and talkative, he also knew when to take a hint. He let Hyunjin practice their choreos, mouthed along to the words every once in awhile when he got a little into it, but he left Hyunjin to his own devices. It was nice, he supposed, having someone around like this for the sake of it.

Eventually, Seungmin fell asleep, his head hanging loosely to the side, almost slipping below his shoulder, and even though Hyunjin can barely feel his legs, he manages to pick the younger up and carry him to the room he shares with Jisung and Felix, even though it’s been a full hour and it’s now 3 in the morning and they have to be up and ready by 6. He doesn’t regret it, not when Seungmin grabs onto his sleeve while he dreamt and Hyunjin felt like he actually had a connection with someone, something that went beyond the superficial similarities he shared with Minho and Felix.

When he returns to his and Jeongin’s room, Hyunjin felt tired in a way he’d never had before. It wasn’t from practice, although his shirt was soaking through, and it wasn’t from having to socially interact with someone. He didn’t know how to describe it, and considering it was past 3 now, he didn’t want to put in that much effort anyway. He plugged his headphones into his phone, shuffled their album demo, and fell asleep to the lullaby of Seungmin’s voice in his ears to keep the silence at bay.


End file.
